Life is overwhelming, and the pace of our lives is incredible. It is beyond our control. Trends such as ‘quiet quitting’ – setting work boundaries by sticking to contractual working hours and tasks – highlight the pressure to regain control in our lives. Moreover, the pandemic revealed that no job is secure.

Not only does the business world let us down in difficult times, we are also facing the consequences of decades of social and environmental exploitation. The climate and over crises put a heavy burden on current and future generations. Keeping control over our lives seems increasingly burdensome in the face of the upcoming challenges.

Every day, I experience some kind of climate anxiety, that feeling of not being impactful enough to make a change. Many of us feel this way. I guess you also went through feelings of helplessness and fear. Emotions that feel like the ground disappears under your feet, feeling like you are out of control.

There’s too many men, too many people

Making too many problems

And there’s not much love to go around

Can’t you see this is the land of confusion?

– “Land of Confusion” by Genesis

When things get out of control…

There are many things over which we do not have any control. Consequently, we worry a lot and that is fair enough. Recently, the Australian Bureau of Meteorology (BoM) confirmed another intense flooding season. The climate crisis is here, it is tangible.

We can not control the weather, but we can control how we deal with it. Unfortunately, not enough or barely any support is coming from governments during a crisis and the last years have proven it. The real heroes were the people in the communities who did their best to allocate crucial help and resources. They were in control because they knew what was at stake: human lives and livelihoods. 

One of the many sustainability competencies is being in control. Therefore, I deep-dived into this topic for you. We cannot make an impact if we feel like we are not in control. If we worry too much and continuously try to have our lives together, we naturally become unable to act. But action is what we direly need. 

Sustainable development depends on active choices and actions. Making an impact can only be fruitful if we are in control of ourselves. I encourage you to deal with what you can control and I want to give you some encouragement and inspiration. Let’s go!

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Why we need to focus on what is IN our control

The success of our actions depends on what we focus on. If you feel like your life is falling apart, you won’t have the energy and foresight to make beneficial decisions. In particular, when it comes to our doomed future due to the climate crisis. Nonetheless, feeling helpless doesn’t bring us anywhere good, but it’s still a feeling that we need to acknowledge and address. The good news is that controlling our emotions lies in our control.

Firstly, let’s look at what we CANNOT control

What is beyond our control?

Naturally, we like to be in control of what is happening within and around us, but there are many circumstances that we can not influence or change. The phrase ‘beyond your control’ can also imply that something that happened does not lie within your responsibility or that higher powers were at work. It is relevant to identify when you are at fault or not. 

Clarity over a situation and your impact gives you greater control. But let us get back to what the issue is for us when we are not in control.

If we experience something outside our control it directly affects our emotions. We can increasingly feel disempowered, frustrated, disappointed, angry or anxious. Those feelings can strongly sabotage our well-being and actions. They can make us go on auto-pilot and drain our energy. Worrying about things we can not control is a widespread social plague because we see a lot of what is going wrong and not what is going right. Not seeing opportunities for change prohibits us from making the changes we need to gain control. 

We can only shape our reality if we feel a sense of control. If your mind plays tricks on you then it is problematic to keep a cool head and assess the situation better.

Here is a visualisation of the things which are beyond your control for you to let go:

So what is in our control?

Control describes the power to influence or lead others’ behaviour or the course of events – like exercising control over the way a ball bounces. Besides, control helps us to reduce the unknown between expected and actual results. It is like personal insurance from harm and disappointment. 

Synonyms for control are authority, discipline, management or oversight.

If we feel like we are in control, we feel empowered. We become creative about all the potential opportunities because we understand the situation. Potentiality is a helpful term when it comes to creating a sustainable future. Instead of seeing potential threats, we can see potential opportunities.

For sustainable development, we need to gain control, but not control over the weather or others. We need to gain control of what is within our area of influence. It builds resilience and enables us to come up with essential solutions to tackle our world’s challenges.

Mindfulness is a crucial life skill that helps you to gain control by being self-aware, present, engaged, open-minded and accepting of what is. The more we gain control of what we can control, the more we build the ability to exert control. 

Below you find another visualisation. This time it is about the areas you CAN control:

How to deal with things outside of your control and focus on what is in your control: 7 powerful ways

Control is usually associated with negative connotations. Anyway, exerting control to find ways to make our world a place worth living in is a different sort of control. It is about gaining control over how we want to live our lives.

Start simple. Focus on the areas you have control. It doesn’t matter where you start. It matters that you start. You can’t put lipstick on the pig anymore – in other words – we can not ignore the challenges which lie ahead of us. Our world’s situation is dire. Hence, we need all hands on deck. Of course, the circumstances suck, but it doesn’t mean that we can not make it better or fix it. We can, we simply need to gain control.

We can not afford to lose energy by trying to control things that are out of our reach. We are better off using our precious energy and time to make a difference that counts. It is all about being mindful, not wasteful. 

Rewire your brain and engage in thinking that benefits you. Ways of staying in control is a powerful path with the potential to solve our world’s crises. 

The following 7 powerful ways will support you in gaining control because we can not be sustainable if we do not feel like we can make an impact or difference.

Become aware of stimuli around you

Every day, we are surrounded by news, people, noises, smells etc. It can overstimulate us and make it more strenuous to stay in control of how we feel. Your environment and the people you spend time with can influence you positively or negatively. Determining what is contributing to your well-being and what is not lets you gain more control over how you feel. 

Moreover, our attention is constantly swinging from different places forth and back. Without the ability to be in control of our attention, we have a hard time focusing on what is meaningful. Turning off your phone is a ubiquitous tip to help you become more mindful. Another tip to restore your depleted attention span is to go for a walk. Quiet and screen-free spaces help us escape and find inspiration to change the world.

Set boundaries with difficult people

Other people influence us. It’s not easy to set boundaries with the ones who don’t treat us well. It’s a very human attitude because we care about what others think about us. Most of the time, it does not matter what they think. Setting boundaries with people who we can not avoid, but affect our well-being negatively is needed to gain control over our emotions.

Who you are today might be very different from who you have been a year ago. And that’s ok. Surrounding yourself with people you feel comfortable and safe with is absolutely fine. Embarking on a sustainability journey can seem overwhelming and you might come across people who do not support your decision. Therefore, engage in communities or volunteer with like-minded people. Search for positive interactions, it lies within your control, but the other’s opinions are out of your control.

Learn to like to move it, move it

It’s no secret that exercise is good for you. It doesn’t mean you need to become a professional sportsperson, but it definitely benefits your mental health. Exercise helps you to gain greater self-control and contributes to your stamina and strength.

If you feel stuck, move. If you feel overwhelmed, move. If you have issues at work or home, move. If you’re in a conflict, move. If intrusive thoughts come around, move. 

No ifs and buts. I have been there. I was a master of finding excuses not to do something. Luckily, I realised that I was self-sabotaging myself. Sometimes I still fall for my traps, but simply pushing myself to get out of my comfort zone helped me a lot. Gaining control over your body to move is very empowering and rewarding. Your body and your time are valuable, gain control over them.

Just move! Just walk! Just dance! Just swim! Just jump! Just stretch! Just take care of yourself! Just do whatever makes you feel better!

Become an active forever learner

Invest time and money in your education. Courses, hobbies or interests are worth exploring, it gets you ahead in life. The more we nurture our curiosity, the more control we gain over our well-being. Exploring new ideas and learning new skills bring us closer to whatever life we want to live. Nowadays, I see inaction as awful as smoking.

Additionally, learn from others. Learn about other people’s behaviours, opinions and ideas. A lot of controversies arise due to the lack of understanding of others’ perspectives. Listen and ask questions, every single one of us has something valuable to share.

Manage your emotions and beliefs

You’re responsible for your emotions, beliefs and behaviour as much as others are responsible for theirs. The good thing is you can control your feelings. Not 100%, but you can learn to conquer them instead of letting them master you. Negative emotions can lower your energy level, leading to being overwhelmed and helpless. By increasing your awareness of your emotions you win the upper hand and boost your confidence which you need for action. 

Become self-reflective, and identify where your feelings are coming from. Ask yourself if they are valid or not. Recognise your inner emotions and thoughts. Your awareness will help you to become mentally stronger and instead of getting in your own way, you will gain the confidence to pave your way.

Make your gut feeling your best friend

Your intuition is a very valuable tool that can root in deep inner knowledge. Making important decisions with the help of our intuition will bring about the needed change. We are too often in our own pathway so we neglect the opportunities and strength we have to make a difference. Our gut feeling is like a navigation system and you can put in the destination.

Listening to your body supports your development in gaining control. Checking with others helps us better understand a situation and make decisions that benefit more people. Reflect and explore the possibilities you have, and come up with many actions you can take. If you feel like it, draft a plan. Sustainability is not complicated when you design it on your terms with the support of like-minded people. 

Overcome a fear of yours

As already mentioned, we are most often our enemies. We are in our way and not even in control. My last tip is to overcome fear. Fearing danger, pain or harm is natural, but mastering it will bring you greater control. Overcoming a fear trains your focus on what you can control. While overcoming a fear you choose, focus on the process, and be calm and collected. Even if you fail, try again and develop your process. Next time focus on the execution of that process. Learning from our failures lets us gain control over our own decisions and allows us to improve and get better. Instead of freezing and losing control, we gain confidence and take the control we deserve. Fueling confidence is needed to change the world.

Predicting the future does not help us if we do not reimagine and act it to be better

A lot needs to be done to make our world sustainable, but we talk little about what needs to change. We need better healthcare systems, we need better infrastructure, we need better education systems, we need to produce healthier food, we need to have affordable housing and we need to take the burden from people most affected by the climate and other crises. 

We focus a lot on carbon emissions while not creating the systems and infrastructure that will make this problem obsolete. We can’t see the opportunities for downscaling because all we are taught is growth. But this is not the life we want, and we know it deep down. Freedom is not a 9-5 while struggling because of poorly managed societies. 

Now, I want you to get out a piece of paper and sketch what is in your control and what is not. Use this information to find what you would like to work on. To make it easier for you, choose only things which are in your control and matter to you. 

Related:

Reimagine Sustainability: Create The Impact You Want To See In Our World

You matter. Your efforts towards sustainability matter as well. Your impact counts as much as any other impact. We have to learn how to get in control of what we can control. First us and then the world.

PS (Postscript)

I found a lot of inspiration listening to the song “Land of Confusion” by Genesis. Therefore, I left a couple of lyrics in this article and also added the Spotify link to this song below. Enjoy!

Now this is the world we live in (oh, oh, oh)

And these are the hands we’re given (oh, oh, oh)

Use them and let’s start trying (oh, oh, oh)

To make it a place worth fighting for

– “Land of Confusion” by Genesis